For those of us in the West, understanding the culture of banqueting is not something we grew up with. We tend to think of food as something that is needed but we often think about it from a more practical point of view. Our cultures are fast and we value what is quick and easy to eat. Not to say we Westerners don't enjoy a good dinner but for the most part we eat faster and more practically than people in the East.
Many cultures outside of North America have more of a food culture. When you come to the East and China, you find a variety of different cuisines and ways to fix them. I'll never forget while studying Chinese that my teacher emphasized the importance of knowing the difference between the four different kinds of tastes in China. She taught me the difference in Spicy Hot, Salty, Bitter, and Sweet. We talked for a long time about the different ways to cook food and why you would want different tastes for different parts of the country. I just had a meal with some Northern Chinese in Beijing with a Southerner ordering. The Northerners couldn't believe how bland and fresh the fish was. The Northerners would have rather had the fish a little more salty with some vinegar sauce. Growing up, I never thought too much about my food... if it tasted salty or bitter, etc. The Chinese always seem to comment about the food... they really know their tastes and they love their food. By the fact that they talk about their food so much just goes to show how important it is to the culture.
It's not just the food that is important.... it's what it represents. It represents a chance to make friends and to build upon a prior friendship. The Chinese love to take long lunches or dinners. This is because as a culture they value relationships over anything else. They trust a relationship for everything... family, business, problems, etc. They won't just do business with someone just because it is a good fit. First, they see if the relationship is right. This goes back to the point of trust. Trust is big in China and earning it is not easy. If you go to a banquet or a dinner with Chinese, this is the start to see if they trust you. How you eat, drink, act. etc.
I was at a banquet last night in a large city in the North. Around the table were six men. One man was a president of a large securities firm. Another, his parents were head of large districts, and he owned four companies. Another a lawyer. Another an official who was the secretary for the previous mayor, and me. They had all become friends but underneath it all I can now see that this banquet is important. It represents bonding and long term friendships. It is fun for me to be there and just to observe. There is an art of eating and serving others first. Also the art of toasting and "giving face" is extremely important. I learn so much about my culture and me. Typically at a Chinese banquet, the top guy is always seated facing the door. The best guest is seated to his right and the second best to his left. And, usually low and behold and I am seated down on the end somewhere.
I love this about China... that the Chinese just really enjoy relationships. It is what bonds them and what makes life meaningful. It makes me ponder my own life as I try to "get things done" and work for "efficiency". It makes me rethink my value on relationships and people.
I want to end with a challenge.... A story I have ready many times is of a man named Jesus who talked about not inviting your best friends to a banquet but inviting those who are the weak, the poor and lame because they are people that cannot pay you back (there is nothing they can do for you). And that, if we do this we will receive many more things in the life to come. This challenges me to another extent, Jesus was a middle-easterner that talked about this. Thinking about how the East practices banqueting, makes me rethink why I am in such a rush and why I am always looking out for #1... ME! Something to think about...
